In town yesterday, I received a wonderful birthday package from a returned Peace Corps volunteer yesterday (Thanks Kelly!). The afternoon was sunny, but not too hot, and I did not have anything pressing to do at school, so I walked leisurely. Included in the package were some granola bars. I picked an almond flavored bar out and started to munch as I walked.
At that moment it struck me, my return to America is inevitable and eating granola bars that come in nice little packages with all sorts of captivating nutritional information will once again be common place.
This means that I have been in Kenya for over a year and a half. The thing is, I have like 6 months left, but right now, 6 months seems like nothing. Phrasing it like this makes me think of other times in life when we are given set arrival and departure dates. One such notable analogy is prison. The problem is, I do not know which side is prison. Do I gain freedom in 6 months or do I lose my freedom? Of course it is not as simple or as complicated as that. The dichotomy is artificial though. There will certainly be a lot of external changes though. I will have more choices of how to use my money, but I will also become more of a slave to monetary choices.
Maybe the scariest aspect of returning home is that I do not know anything about my future life. I do not know if I will get into grad school, if I do get in I do not know where in the country I will be, I do not know what I will do before August of 2011, and how I will spend the little money that Peace Corps will give me.
Thinking about those things now, while I am seated in the staff room in front of my laptop, I am scared. Yesterday, strolling down a dirt road munching on a delicious granola bar, I was excited. Maybe this means that I need to spend more time outdoors eating granola bars...
Hi! I'm a recently returned PCV who lived in South Africa for two and a half years. I extended my service because I loved it so much. I've been home since November 2010 and it is quite an adjustment. I liked your post and all the conflicting emotions. The return home is both prison and freedom. Best of luck to you!!!!
ReplyDeleteJambo...I was a PCV in Kenya from 1978 to 1982. My senior year at Mich.State I had a girlfriend who kept asking me what I was going to do after college. I had her give me an envelope with her home address on it and one year later I posted it to her - I was the "acting" headmaster of a tiny Harambee school in the Kenyan highlands (Metkei Girls now days). When I was finishing up in Kenya I wasn't sure what I would be doing afterwards - only thing I knew was that whatever it was it was going to just as great as my time as a PCV. I ended up traveling through Asia (starting in Pakistan and ending up in the Philippines)for a year and then lived in Am Samoa for almost 20 years. In two days I will finish my contract after five years at Pacific Buddhist Academy in Honolulu. What will I be doing next week? next year? Told the folks at the school - give me an envelope with the school's address on it and I will post one year from now to let you know.
ReplyDeletePaul Cassens
Thanks for the comments. It is comforting to know that so many others have felt the same tensions.
ReplyDeleteIt also reminds me that I need to spend more time proof-reading my posts...