On October 21st the fourth year students begin their final exam of secondary school. It is also the only exam that they have taken in secondary school that will matter after they leave. Grades do not matter, clubs and responsibilities only matter a microscopic amount, and essays cannot help them. This is It for them. The exam takes about a month, with two papers each day. Needless to say, they feel it coming. Worse, it is not just my school, but every form 4 student in Kenya will be taking the same exam at the exact same time. All of the students appear to me to have turned into ticking time-bombs by this point. Some are so on edge that are are creating discipline problems, others are studying so long and furiously that I am worried them will lose it before exam time, and a few of them have become so mellow and lost emotionally that the emotional explosion wont happen until they leave school.
In my 8 student form 4 physics class I have all of the three types. Two of the students were sent home from breaking into the principal's office. Two of the students are super focused, and 4 are unable to pay attention even when I am lecturing them about paying attention. It saddens me to follow their gazes out the window and realize that they are staring disinterestedly at nothing.
I feel for them. I want them to see other possibilities for success, or to put there time spent in secondary school into a broader context: they are part of literate Kenya. They have more access to information than most Kenyans, and even though they wont be able to go to college, they are helping - they are stepping Kenya in a better direction than if they had not gone to school. I understand though that it is difficult for them to see this. Someone who goes to college will earn around 20000-35000 Kenya shillings a month as a starting teacher and someone who does not go to college will likely earn 2, 3, 4 thousand shillings a month (if they are able to find employment). Some will go to polytechnics and learn to be a carpenter or mechanic, and others who have connections will be employed earning decent livings. In perspective, food for one person for one month if you buy it all is about 1000 for a very cheap, entirely local food diet.
So most of them are trying to get into that upper echelon. They have proposed that we do 4 labs per week for the next month in addition to our normal lessons where we are revising past exams. I am happy that they are excited about practicals, but wish that their enthusiasm began in a different context.
The other students do not seem to understand what the form 4's are going through exactly. They are acting like little siblings, displaying superficial understanding, but going too far with their attempts at empathy or picking fights.
The teachers have been doing a good job at keeping the younger brothers and sisters busy though. With the support of the other teachers we found new life for the debating club. The first debate of the term was yesterday and I witnessed the form 1's versus the form 2's have an energetic debate about whether or not it is better to educate boys or girls. Students have also been starting to respond to my offers to help them with extra curricular activities. One group wants to try building a mini-biogas digester. Another group wants to try making pipes out of hollowed out trees (I don't yet understand exactly why, but I am happy to help). The students also just found out a few days ago that I have been doing yoga. I am very excited to introduce yoga (and eastern tradition in general), but first I want to feel more confident with my own ability and I want to get over my feelings of embarrassment about showing the students that I have a book full of pictures of a woman in spandex.
The best part of the energy of this term is that the principal has been around the school a lot, which has helped inspire the other teachers to be around school more. Although I sympathize with the form 4's, I have been feeling very happy to be around the school and interacting with the students.
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